One of the funniest political parodies, ever.

It is said that in adversity, the measure of man and oratory is truly taken. The following spoof, spawned by the unfortunate wildfire tragedy in SoCal, is truly inspired, not only for the originating post, but the comments that follow:

America Can't Win the "War On Fire"
An Editorial by Harvey

"After the all of endless days of the California fire quagmire, it's time for America to admit that it can't win this battle. We must immediately withdraw our forces and go home. But until our so-called "leaders" in Washington wise up to the folly of their current course, all we can do is ask ourselves, "why does fire hate us?".

The roots go deep.
"it's no wonder fire hates us. We've been demonizing it ever since the first cinematic Frankenstein monster said 'Fire bad!'."
In the 12th century, when Europe was suffering through it's Dark Ages, fire was the most enlightened thing on the planet. It provided warmth and illumination to those who were wise in its ways. Truly it was the engine of civilization.

Fire has never forgotten this, though apparently WE have, and our ingratitude to our betters galls them.

We think ourselves so sophisticated with our electricity and our central heating, but if fire hadn't paved the way for us, we'd be lost.

We offend fire by occupying the holy lands of burnable, burnable forests with our "fireless" nuclear power plants, claiming that we are "better than mere flames". We laugh at fire's "primitiveness" and "simplicity".

Well, apparently fire is stronger than we think, as it continues to prove itself unstoppable despite our recent surge of extinguishing agents. Water, and by extension America, is no match for such a primal force.

How foolish fighting fire is. And what a waste of resources in a country where there are children without health insurance.

And it's no wonder fire hates us. We've been demonizing it ever since the first cinematic Frankenstein monster said "Fire bad!". We tell our children not to play with matches or they'll wet the bed. We won't even allow lighters on airline flights! Even before the fire is made, it's assumed to be evil by its very nature. Plus we only allow fire the most menial of jobs in this country - barbecues, fireplaces, scented candles - is it any wonder that fire resents us so deeply?

I, for one, don't blame it. And I am ashamed to be an American.

Of course, even though I understand fire's anger, I certainly don't think violence is the answer. Naturally, like all decent people, I don't approve of fires raging through California. Still, I think we should at least consider containment as an option, rather than direct confrontation. Give fire a certain area of land to live as it pleases, and only react if it takes the initiative to cross borders. At that point, we should definitely consider economic sanctions.

I believe in co-existence. I think we can get along peaceably with fire if we just set our pride aside and give it some of what it wants.

After all, it's not called "the combustion of peace" for nothing."

---

Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as "Genocide: Smokey the Bear's Brutal Crusade Against Fire" and "Heat + Fuel + Oxygen = Fun!".

[H/T SDA]
______________________________________
Some of the comments:

Brilliant. Just brilliant, Fra- er Harvey. ;-)

Still, I think we should at least consider containment as an option, rather than direct confrontation.

But what about diplomacy? We need first to understaaaaaaaaand fire. If we would only invite fire into our country, into our homes and businesses we could sit down together and make peace...
#3 - Posted by: Polly Esther on October 25, 2007 11:44 AM

I personally think we should crack down on employers that use and hire undocumented fires, ....and how do we know that fire was in the country legally?? A sprinkler system on the southern border could have prevented this.
#7 - Posted by: Clay S. on October 25, 2007 12:06 PM

I would just like to say that I am against firefighting but for the firefighters.
#11 - Posted by: ktjshaw on October 25, 2007 12:35 PM

Before we send in those firefighting troops, did anyone bother to consult all our allies in the UN??? They got sent into harm's way without consulting congress or even a declaration of firefighting. We need an immediate investigation to find out how this was possible and then pass ten laws prohibiting this outright violation of our constitution. We also need a nonbinding resolution condeming this action.
#40 - Posted by: Dan M on October 25, 2007 06:45 PM

has anyone thought to send jimmy carter to talk to the fire? He won the peace prize and all. he can can sing songs and make s'mores next to the fire.
Now to be real for a sec. thoughts and prayers to all the folks out there. big thanks to the firefighters. may G-d bless them.
#46 - Posted by: ceann rua on October 25, 2007 09:18 PM

CODE PINKETTE is a women-initiated grassroots social justice movement working to end the illegal war on Fire, stop firefighting, and redirect our resources into healthcare, education and other life-affirming activities.

We reject the Bush administration's fear-based politics that justify firefighting, and instead call for policies based on compassion, kindness and a commitment to letting fire burn.

We call on men and women to "wage peace" with fire. STOP HOSING THE FIRE.
#59 - Posted by: CodePinko on October 26, 2007 12:31 PM

all you Firehawks are to blame for the fighting of flames
#69 - Posted by: JP on October 26, 2007 01:14 PM

Wake up people! This fire was an inside job by Bush to benefit his cronies in Big Water. Profits are down at the Evian/Poland Springs/Perrier cartel, and we get a big ass fire.

I question the timing!
#71 - Posted by: Jay Guevara on October 26, 2007 01:18 PM

I voted for putting out the fires before I voted against providing the firefighters with the equipment they'd need to put out the fires...
#88 - Posted by: John Kerry on October 26, 2007 02:23 PM

No blood for combustibles
#91 - Posted by: jr565 on October 26, 2007 02:34 PM

It is not atypical for an American President to display an inordinate hostility towards fire. Remember Franklin Roosevelt and his "fire-cide chats"?
#97 - Posted by: arrowhead on October 26, 2007 02:45 PM

We were dragged into this firefight under false pretenses!

THERE ARE NO WEAPONS OF MASS KINDLING IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!!

We must set a date for firefighter withdrawal!

Bush lied --- trees died!
#140 - Posted by: Mr. Right on October 27, 2007 02:37 AM

LOL!